Wednesday, March 19, 2014

I'm a sorry mess to see your face

I obviously need this book. 

So I think it's time for this blog to take a hiatus. Or me to take a hiatus from this blog. Only a few people read it, and what I write makes no difference and probably little sense to them anyway. I'm starting school in a few days and it's got me thinking about my lifestyle. 
That's right: my fucking LIFESTYLE. I'm so clean. so fresh and so motherfucking clean. Not even really that fresh, to be honest. I'm like whatevs about my freshness. I'm like let me not be so fresh now; someone might get offended. You definitely can't write anything offensive.
Very little that is good is inoffensive. 
I'm afraid to offend my boyfriend.
I'm afraid my job will somehow discover my past transgressions, bless me oh Jesus, and fire me and then what? then fucking what? who cares...who cares. 
It does matter to me. It all fucking matters and that's the problem because there is no balance that I can find. I'm sure it's there, but to me it is elusive as all fuck. If I lose my boyfriend, if I lose my job.............maybe that's what has to happen? Fuck if I know. 

Words count. Twitter knows. I clearly don't. 

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