Wednesday, May 3, 2017


the first time
i said 21 and defiant
i'm not happy, i'm done
i'm crazy and can do whatever i want and you'll still want me
you'll still take me back you love me and i know it
i was impatient
i wanted to have everything i wanted when i wanted it
i expected it
and not from life experience...just from you.
and when i came back and said
i'm sorry i love you i made a mistake
you said i'm sorry i can't, i won't.
and if you had, would you have cheated on me anyway?

when people ask about my relationships i tend to brush that one off. 'oh it was just silly. a friend from high school, it only lasted 5 months and we were never in the same city.' but it wasn't silly. i always had my 'cool girl attitude' but i was in it. i was so in it i didn't even know. i acted tough and untouchable, but it took me a year to recover even a little. over something so silly, right?

and i can't help but wonder if i'm making the same thing now.


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