The Lump

I was trying to explain it to a non-Miami person.

Kind of a funny screen shot, though.

I am an apprehensive restless worrier, and I so rarely accomplish.
The apprehension renders me paralyzed.
The restlessness busies me with chores, necessary or not.
The worrying just wears me down.

My bones mock my mind's lack of action.
My bones do as they must.
My mind sits idle, often vacant.

I am a coward and that is the final word. I am a fucking coward and what it's going to take does not frighten me.

Say fuck it, fuck you, fuck me, I don't fucking care. IT DOESN'T MATTER, RIGHT? IT DOESN'T MATTER?

The longer I wait, the harder it is for me to convince myself it doesn't matter. I suppose it won't matter once it doesn't, so fuck it.