Hair Did

I have spent so much money at Duane Reade this year that I got $5.00 off my most recent purchase, which meant that I only spent $2.00 dying my hair an awful color.

This is my...third experience with at-home hair coloring. The first time I went all out and bleached the damn thing. I had the help of 3 roommates, so it was even and....orange. I kind of loved it. It was so horrid. What I am just now realizing is that was also around this time in October 2008. Strange. Anyway it was right before Halloween and I went to the Village Halloween Parade as a 'red-headed stepchild.' I tore holes in the child print long johns I wore and put ketchup and shit all over them and painted bruises and stuff on my face and thought it was funny, though few others did.

A few months later, I decided to look to the opposite end of the spectrum: black. Turns out that is ill-advised because you end up with 'leopard spots.' I did. I didn't really care. I don't remember if I covered them up...I think I eventually might have, but that was that. The black hair also made me decide I could easily enhance my look with a lip piercing. I kind of liked it but 3 months in decided that 23 was too old for such things.

So this time my hair somehow became darker and reddish. If I knew it was gonna go this way, I would have hoped for what my father calls 'Hialeah Red,' which many of us might recognize as a brighter, more magenta shade of red.

This picture has nothing to do with my hair, obviously, I just decided to bring my life back to the present because the past is just what got you to the present. Mine has clearly instilled me with deep insight and an eloquence unparalleled.

Pandora thinks I love Sum 41. I keep hitting 'thumbs down' but it seems to think I am kidding; I suppose we have reached an impasse. I shall resign myself to listening to Fat Lip one more time and then...