Sunday, August 17, 2014

The places I walked through as a child so carefully.
frogs and raspberries and deer tracks
friends and muddy handprints
running from weird dudes
running running laughing
laughing so hard

And then as a young adult
stumbling alone
I tried to run but could not keep up
time and drugs drug me down
pulled me down to earth
clean clean dirt smelled of iron
and said
GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER
but I did not

I dug my fingers into the cold earth
brown sand and tiny multicolored pebbles
I rubbed it between my hands because we used to say
it was the Native Americans soap
before there was soap
Then I sat there no one will find me crying here
I'll puke up my dinner now
It's just tonight, tomorrow will be different
But don't I look pretty

And I'll rinse my mouth with the water I know. I'll drink until I am clean and now I feel cleansed
I look at my arms, feel each with my hands
my waist and my legs
yes i am ok
i'm ok i can go where I need

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